APRIL FOOLS GAIZ!
by TheVenusianAlchemist
Summary: USA n Canada throw a party w/30 countries. They vote on an Ap.Fool's Joke. The joke;spend the day with a random country and see what happens. Will Belarus kill China? Will Denmark and England get along? Rated M for language, poor taste and implied homos!
1. Chapter 1: Party at Canadia's

"OOOOOOOOOOKAAAAAAAAAY GAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIZ!" came a distinct hero yell from across the table that made England and Germany rub his temples and pinch the bridge of his nose, respectively. "It's April Fools Day, so I'm going to play a joke on you guys!"

England looked up from his tea with a blue twinge and a frown on his perplexed face. "Excuse me, but wasn't April Fool's Day a little while ago...?"

France lifted his head, which had been resting until now on a hand coming from the elbow resting on the desk. One eye lay shut in a demure wink and a small smile touched his lips. "You, 'ow do you say, defeat the zjhoke by telling us zer will be one. No?"

"Yaaaaaay! Sounds like fun!" Italy. Of course.

"I will not play such silly games!" Germany. Of course.

Japan sat quietly in the back, waiting to see how everyone else would react before making any decisions. Truthfully, he rather liked April Fool's and this would be a rare occasion where he and America completely agreed. Of course, he wasn't saying it...yet. He silently counted the vote. Germany was a definite no, and England probably would disagree just because of his tsundere attitude towards America. Italy had voted yes and France would probably go along with it just for fun. A dead even heat.

"Well, I-a think it's stupid!"

"Why, brother? I think it's cute!"

"Be quiet, Veniciano!" So Romano was another no. Japan looked around while Spain, Belarus and Ukraine cast their votes. Belarus opposed, because she's kind of a bitch and she hates America, and the other two agreed due to their easy-going natures. Japan had a feeling Ukraine just might want to make friends. He looked at the room. There were 30 countries who had attended Canada's house today. America apparently asked him to throw this party as his version of a late April Fool's Joke (he and Canada wore the same suit. Haha. Like they hadn't done that one a million times.), and Japan realized only about half of these people would have come otherwise. Definitely not Cuba, who was looking a little pissed America was taking votes, and _definitely_ not Belarus, who hated what he did to Russia in the Cold War. Russia probably still would have come, though (he was rather strange like that), so that might have brought her. Japan was getting a little worried as the votes stayed at an even keel and in the end, the vote came down to him. This was the worst position a Japanese man can take in a diplomatic setting.

"_Well, dude, Japan, you get to break the tie!" _America yelled with some oomph, giving a wink and a thumbs up to Japan. "Don't worry, dude, I totaaaally know you won't let me down, right?" America's blue peepers froze on Japan, causing him to shake. Everyone was staring at him, expecting him to make the final decision. If he voted against it, the vote would be a tie and they would revote, but Japan had really wanted to do it initially...It was very unsettling. Not only that, but America had completely implied to Japan that he was obligated to support him. He always did that! Worst off, he was so much of an idiot that you never really knew if he meant to do it or not! It was just like those damned Black Ships!

"Uh..." Japan did some quick math in his head, because thats what Asians do, and counted who voted for what. In favor of the joke was: America, France, Italy, Russia (probably for some sociopathic reason, Japan thought [he really just wanted to be friendly]) Denmark, Prussia, Finland, Ukraine, Spain, Canada (They could hardly hear his vote), Cuba (suprisingly, he probably did it for Canada,) Lithuania (Poland probably would have voted for it, but for some reason he got really shy when everyone looked at him and just gave a thumbs down), Greece (though he was half-asleep, so Japan wasn't sure if it counted), Latvia (he thought the idea sounded cute!) and Sealand (who voted right after England and did it mostly to annoy him, though it did sound fun!)

Against the joke was China (he said it was childish, and that he was waaaaay too old for that[aru]), Germany (who said he was too old for it and so was everyone else [except America and Canada, apparently]), England, Romano, Austria and by proxy Hungary (Austria had just voted against Prussia, really), Switzerland (though he hated to agree with Austria but he was afraid the joke might cost money somehow) and by proxy Liechtenstein, Poland (strangely), Norway, Sweden (he actually didn't answer in anything but a monosyllabic grunt so they moved on), Iceland (who was afraid he might have to take his shirt off, again), Belarus (who freaked out when Russia voted after her in favor of the joke [! Why, brother, why?]), and Estonia (who said it was a little too silly, but he wasn't very opposed to the idea).

"Well," he said at length, "I must admit, it does sound rahzer apprearing to me."

A collective groan hit from half the room and a resounding yell could be heard from America and Prussia. Ironically, they BOTH yelled that they were AWESOME and then gave each other a very weird look. "I'm way more awesome..." Prussia muttered.

"Yeah, yeah. That's why you're still a country, right?"

"What, America? Let's see how long you last, you 200 year old baby! Nice economy, by the way!"

Italy came between them with a smile and patted them both on the shoulder, a trail of hearts coming from his curled hair. "Now, now guys. We can-a all be awesome! Ve ve...we all voted for the super fun cool idea, right?"

"Okay, okay!" America stated with reknown vigor [smart stroking his ego, Italy! Was that on purpose or are you just that easily impressed?] "I'm going to announce-" he looked sideways at Prussia "My AWESOME idea!"

"Can I change my vote?" Prussia muttered to himself and walked away very uncooly.

Canada appeared next to him quivering, holding a hat labeled Alaska [totally got that idea from someone else] which was filled with little slips of paper. "Okay!" America shouted, causing Canada to cringe, "Everyone who DID NOT vote for this joke, come pick out a slip of paper! If you get your own name, throw it back in the hat. KEEP YOUR PAPER! You'll need it when we are done!"

He bounced up to England first, just to make a point. "Looks like you lost to me again, England. You can go first. Don't read the name yet!" England furrowed a brow at the last remark [git], but said nothing and shoved his hand in the hat. After furrowing around he picked out a paper and stuck it in his pocket. "That's right, I almost forgot!" America said with an innocent perk, "Yeah, don't look at your papers yet!"

"Das is stupid..." Germany said as he furrowed out his own paper. Pretty soon, under various smirks or glares, everybody had a piece of paper.

"Okay, England! Announce whose name you got!" England blushed very slightly as America [git] told him what to do. It was rather embarrassing, him being a former colony and all. But no matter. He unfolded his paper and read the name aloud. "Denmark [great, that damn Viking had scared the hell out of him when he was a kid]. So what's that mean?"

"Not tellin' yet. Germany?"

"I told you dat das is stupid. I got England."

"Throw away!" America said and flipped the strip out of Germany's hand. "Pick another!" he added and lifted up the hat.

"Sveden."

One by one it went like this, until the following pairs were decided: England and Denmark; Sweden and Germany; Norway and Sealand; China and Belarus [poor China!]; Russia and Romano [poor Romano!]; Liechtenstein and Prussia; Hungary and Poland; Lithuania and Japan; Cuba and Spain; Estonia and Finland; France and Ukraine [uh-oh]; Greece and Canada; Switzerland and Iceland, Italy and Latvia, America and Austria (much too Austria's fear, not knowing what the joke was.) "Okay, finally, geez, that took forEVER!" pouted America.

"It was you idea, brother..." Canada quietly reminded him.

"Pfft. Whatevs. Anyways, HERE'S THE JOKE GUYS! That's your friend for the entire day! In the true AMERICAN spirit of all nationalities coming together - "

"YOU aren't the first person of mixed blood, git!" England interrupted.

"Whatever, like all your people don't look the same, whitey," America said to a stunned audience (especially Cuba, who was the only color around [why was his dad so white?]). "Anyways, it was a good speech before I was so RUDELY interrupted! But anyways, that's your date! You have to stay in Canada all day and hang out with that person! Or you lose!"

"Lose what, exactly?" asked an exasperated Germany. What was he supposed to do with Sweden? At least it wasn't Romano. Or America, if he was going to be this chipper all day. What exactly did all of this prove?

"The game, of course! And the winner gets the Peace Prize next year, so-"

"Shut the HELL up you American sheep! Just because Obama one once doesn't mean it's happening again, so hands off the Peace Prize!"

"Can't you take a joke Switzerland? [death-glare from Switzerland] Okaaaaaaaaay. No."

Switzerland sighed and walked up to Iceland. "I guess in the prospect of Peace, I cannot refuse this stupid venue."

"..."

"Ve ve ve! This sounds like so much fun!" Italy exclaimed as he popped up next to Latvia, who smiled in return. "You're so cute, just like me when I was little and I wore a dress!"

"W-what?" was all Latvia could say in response.

"Ja, well..." Germany said as he approached Sweden, "I guess it can't be all bad. How about we go have a beer?"

Sweden looked at Germany with a chill that even made Germany stammer [but only for about a millisecond] before merely grunting "kay". They walked off, both looking rather stiff.

England took a lead from Germany [I guess if he's even doing it...] and went up to Denmark. "Hullo, ya bloody Dane." he said with a snark and handed out his palm.

Denmark squinted his eyes. "I need a drink..."

Lithuania walked up to Japan and extended a hand with a sweet look in his eyes. "H-hello, Japan. We never r-really spend much time together, do we?"

Japan met his hand with a blank gaze. "No, I supprose we don't [totally not writing that accent for the Japan Lithy chapter]."

France idled up to Ukraine with a rose in his hand, his eyes meeting hers [he knew when to look down, it was when she wasn't looking of course!] "Mon cherie," he said with a pompous laugh, "You are, how they say, very beautiful..."

Ukraine began to cry, much to France's shock [imagine the rose drooping]. "Oh! That is the nicest thing anyone has ever saaaaaaaaid to me! You must be the nicest man in the world!"

*bounce*

Prussia walked [uncooly] up to Liechtenstein. "So you're that meek chick who looks like a boy, eh? That is so not awesome..." He looked sideways as Hungary met up with Poland, while Liechtenstein nervously patted her pettanko chest with a blush.

"Hi, Poland! You know, I was very friendly with Lithuania back in the day."

"Oh, like, I guess that's so cool..." Poland said, crumbling beneath an awkward blush.

Norway gloomily walked over to Sealand, who stared up at him with a chipper grin. "I bet you'll just be loads of fun!"

Cuba walked up to Spain, who opened his arms in a hug. "My long lost son!" he said with a smile.

Cuba frowned. "You know, mi amigo, I never thought I'd say this, but I owe America one. He freed me from you, kinda." Spain's face fell under a blue cloud of doom.

Russia walked up to Romano and placed a hand on his quivering shoulder. "You're cute, ja?"

Romano squeaked as Russia touched him. "S-spain..." was all he could mutter.

Canada slowly walked up to Greece, who was sitting in the chair. "H-hey...I'm Canada."

"Who?"

Finland and Estonia were quite pleased with their matchup and watched the others jumble together with funny grins. "Look," Finland said, "Latvia and Italy. How weird."

"My favorite is China and Belarus," chuckled Estonia, "Four thousand years is about to come toppling down, don't you think?"

"You..." said Belarus dangerously, in a quiet and steely tone, "Are the one my brother wanted..."

"AMERICA!" shouted China from across the room, "I'm-a-gonna kill you! ARU!"

"Not if I do it for you..." Austria muttered to himself. Seriously, did this guy always laugh this loud? Austria fell to the floor as America slapped him on the back.

"DUDE! Did you see Belarus totally freak out China? That is SO Belarus!"

"You got my jacket dirty..." was all Austria could say.

'Kay, guys, if anyone reads this and wants something particular to happen, let me know and I'll see if I can work it in!


	2. Chapter 2: Denmark and England

"Oh, great," Denmark muttered to himself as he and England sat dismally in the corner. Both stared straight ahead in silence as the other countries shuffled about. He watched in bemusement as Norway frowned at the little nation who was tugging on his sailor suit. They both looked cute, wearing those matching uniforms. "Hey, England," he said, forgetting how much he hated the guy for taking over his navy after the Battle of Copenhagen, "Hey, that's your colony with Norway, huh?"

"He's not a colony, git, he's an unrecognized principality. I think Sweden owns him now, but he won't ever leave me alone!" This retort made Denmark squint in annoyance. England shifted in his chair and recrossed his legs. "So do we just sit here all day, or do you want to go do something?" He watched from afar as America poked Austria [he looked pretty annoyed at his dirty jacket] and France stared down shocked at a crying Ukraine. Jeez, would he really have rather hung out with one of them? Surely not.

Denmark flashed a large grin as he watched how annoyed Norway looked. "Ah, let's go get a drink! Let's ask Canada where a bar is!"

"That actually sounds like an excellent idea," England admitted with a resistant tone. God, he hated those Danes for conquering England [who cares if it was a thousand years ago?]. He got him back in the Gunboat War, when he let Sweden take Norway. Ha. Denmark had been so pissed.

The two stood up, not looking at each other, and found Canada and Greece sitting in a corner.

"C-canada, ey? You really don't know who I am?"

England interrupted, feeling for his poor, invisible former colony. Of course, he was still a little annoyed about the Canada Act of 1982, but at least he hadn't been a dick about it [ unlike America's declaration]. "Canada," he said at length, "Do you know where a bar is in this country."

"A-ah, England-san. Yeah, there's one right up the road, ey. Just walk to the left when you get to the sidewalk and walk down a couple blocks. There's a few right next to each other."

"Thanks, Canadia!" Denmark said and slapped him on the back. As the two walked away, they never heard Canada mutter his actual name under his breath.

The pair stepped outside into the nippy air, though it really wasn't cold quite yet. "This way," Denmark said with energy, and England grew annoyed the bloody Dane didn't realize England obviously knew which direction 'left' was. He just muttered under his breath and followed along, a couple paces behind.

The two entered a dimly lit bar with a clink of a bell that hung in the corner of the door. It was fairly empty, and the two didn't even notice Germany and Sweden sitting in the corner. They both made their way up to the bar. "I'll have a vodka here!" Denmark said happily, holding up a finger to the barkeep, "Ya know what? Better make it two."

England was surprised at that. He ordered a rum and as they waited, he asked Denmark, "Why exactly are you drinking Vodka? Isn't that a Russian thing?"

"Nah," he said dismissively, "Finland and I have had this competition going to see who can drink the most. I'm winning so far." England found the picture of a drunk Finland surprisingly funny and laughed a litte. Denmark grinned. "I know, right? You'd never expect that guy to drink so much. Anyways, we really like vodka. You know, Finland even has this band called Korpiklaani that wrote a song about it."

"Oh?" England said as their drinks arrived. To his awe, Denmark downed the first one in a single gulp before beginning to slip slowly on his second one.

They drank their first few in relative silence. Both still felt pretty awkward about the Napoleonic Wars. After all, Denmark had sided with France. But after a few more drinks, England suddenly became more friendly. Denmark watched with amusement, as England obviously didn't hold his liquor as well. It looked fun, so Denmark ordered a several extra shots for himself and listened to England's rant as he downed them, feeling the purple haze come across his mind.

"You damn Dane!" England said between hiccups, "Siding with France in the War. You scared the hell out of me when I was little, you know!"

"Oh, come on," Denmark said with a slight slur himself, "You got me back for that whole Dane Viking thing. I mean, you basically took Norway from me."

"Ah, whaddya care? Sweden took him, not me."

"It was your fault!"

"Was not! You should have let me use your navy willingly!"

"I was once the King of Northern Europe!"

"*I* was once the Great British Empire!"

The two sat in silence for a moment, both lost in thoughts of former glory. Denmark [being more friendly and open] finally broke the silence as a certain memory came over him. "Hey," he asked slowly, "What was your favorite part of being the top dog?"

England was a little taken aback by the question and a shiver rolled through him as he remembered his pirate days. "The open sea was nice..."

"Yeah, I really liked that part, too." With a mischievious glint in his deep blue eyes, he turned to England, "But didn't you really like it when they tried to fight back and lost? Wow. What a power trip! I miss that."

England thought for a moment. Had he really liked the feeling of power when he was in control of colonies like Seychelles or Uganda? Normally, he would never admit it, but there was enough rum in him, "Yeah! The look on their stupid faces when you win was really nice!"

"We're quite a pair of sadists!" Denmark laughed.

"Yes, I suppose so!" England laughed until the pertinent face of America wearing that stupid revolution uniform broke his thoughts. A couple of tiny tears welled up in the corners of his eyes. "It's not so great," he added, "When they fight you and win. They even think they can declare independence!" As he said this last part, he slammed the table. "Barkeep! Another one!"

Denmark frowned as he thought of his own history of betrayal. "Sweden and Finland left me, too, you know. Even Norway went to Sweden that time. It does suck!"

"Whaa-? You are always hanging out!"

Denmark sighed and a small smile returned to his lips. "You know, that's because we're friends now. Our histories are too common to stop being friends, just because we are all independent countries now. All it really means is I can't boss them around as much. I can try, but I just can't force them to do stuff. Stupid modern diplomacy. I think that retard America really pussied it up, with all his emphasis on justice and crap. Doesn't he realize how people did things back then?"

"No, I don't think he does. Their history emphasizes stupid abstract ideas like 'freedom' and 'justice'. He really is a git."

Denmark smiled wider and turned to England with squinted eyes and a furrowed brow. "Yeah, but you totally still want him, right?"

England facepalmed. "Why does everyone say that? I do not want that fool." Still, he thought to himself as an image of little America came into his mind and he smiled, he missed the days that kid was actually nice to him. The grown up America...he denied the lust he felt and replaced it with anger. "Why would you say that!"

Denmark took a sip and then laughed. "It's okay, sometimes I tell the others I don't want Norway, but they know I do."

"Norway? That ice-queen?"

Denmark laughed. "He's actually pretty funny when he wants to be. You should have seen him tease Ice-kun when he found out they were brothers. You know, he's always talking to imaginary creatures. It's really weird."

This piqued England's interest. "Really? What kind of friends does he have?"

"Oh, I think he says it's a troll and a...whassit? Oh, yeah. A fairy."

Suddenly England pictured him and Norway's imaginary friends fighting against each other in a duel and he laughed. "Flying mint bunny would kick that troll's ass!"

Denmark looked confused, so England let the subject drop with a blush and took another drink. "So...you're really still friends with Norway?"

"Oh, yeah, the best! We've even done it a couple of times!"

This caused England to spurt part of his drink out. "What? I didn't know you two had done that!"

"Well, we were unified at one point, you know? Come on, like you never did it with America? Or France?"

England shuddered. "Maybe once or twice with France, but that was mostly his fault. He's a total creep. But I've never had sex with America. Oh, bugger." He shook his empty glass at the barkeep.

"Oh, all France's fault, huh? That's not how he tells it."

"WHAT HAVE YOU HEARD?"

Denmark laughed, "Nothin', nothin', I was just joking. But really, not with America? It's obvious you want him. I heard about how you could have taken him out in the Revolutionary War of American Independence, but you kind of just let him win. Finland said Latvia told him that Sealand told him that America told him that you just started crying like a bitch and let him go. What kind of a sadist is that?"

England's face grew red with anger and as the bartender placed the rum in front of him, he downed it and quickly ordered another. "I did not cry! I just let the yankee go because it was too far to sail and keep fighting!"

"Yeah, yeah..."

"Besides, we've never had sex because he won't be on bottom and *I* refuse to be the uke of a former colony!" England stopped short after this, suprised he had admitted this to Denmark.

"Oh, what, so you've talked about it before?" Denmark laughed at the apparent blush which came over England's face. "So? Why don't you get him drunk? I guarantee that boy's an uke somewhere."

"I don't think so..." England grumbled, "I tried to convince him he was in 1812..."

"Oh, come on. Everyone can do both. I bet you were France's uke."

"THAT is not true! Can we just-just drop it?"

"Fine..." Denmark replied, obviously entertained. "But seriously, why'd you let him go? I mean, like you said, you were the Great British Empire."

"It just became apparent he wasn't going to stop being a brat anytime soon, so I just let him have it."

"When your colony is a brat, you punish him. You don't reward him with freedom!" Denmark laughed at the image of America trembling, though it was suprisingly hard to conjure.

"He's freakishly strong, you know. I'm not sure who would win in a fistfight between him and Russia, but it would be an interesting show." He slumped forward a little in his chair, obviously hammered. "You? You an uke or a seme?"

"Duh. I'm the seme. Most the time. I try to be nice to Norway every once in awhile, I guess."

England found himself in awe of how unashamed Denmark seemed about it all. He realized for a second, just a second, how similar the two were. Both former world powers who had lost territory very close to them. The main difference was that Denmark and Norway remained close, while England and America could never seem to agree...

"So you've just done it with Norway? What about Sweden and Finland?"

"Nah. I'd never mess with Sweden's wife."

"Wife?"

"That's what he says."

"What about Iceland?"

"No way, that's Norway's little brother. That'd be like you...wait, does America have a little brother? Canadia? You ever do it with him?"

"Canada. No. He's really not my type."

"Why? Not obnoxious enough?"

"No!" England said and raised his voice in anger, "He's an innocent! Besides, I think he and Cuba might have something going. France acts more like his guardian, anyways."

"You know, since Canada is so meek, you could probably get him to dress like America and take him as your uke!" Denmark laughed at his joke but stopped when he saw England seemed to be seriously considering this. "Hey, hey! I was just joking! That poor kid!"

England shook his head. "You said it! Besides, it wouldn't be the same."

Denmark's eyes opened in an anticipating gaze. "Oh, yeah? Why not? They look the same to me."

England smiled a dark smile that even freaked out Denmark a little. "I'm a sadist, remember? It wouldn't be fun unless I got to humiliate and dominate that little bugger. Canada wouldn't put up much of a fight."

Denmark sat there for a moment with his mouth agape. "Wow," he said at length, "You really are a sadist!"

England smiled and slumped his head down onto the bar. "I am the Great British Empire."


	3. Chapter 3: Italy and Latvia

"Ve ve ve..." Italy said as he munched down his pizza slice. "You're so cute, little Russia, and so tiny! What do you want to do today?"

"I'm not little Russia, I'm Latvia!"

"I know, ve ve ve, but my country never officially recognized your annexation, so I thought that would be funny!"

"Where did you even get that?" Latvia asked, annoyed, as he pointed to the crust which was soon finished by a ravenous Italian.

"From my pants!" Italy yelled shamelessly. He pulled into the front of his blue uniform and began digging around. Latvia couldn't believe it and stood there with white eyes and a furrowed brow, sweat trickling down his temple. After a moment, Italy pulled out two more slices of pepperoni. "Do you want some?"

"Uh..maybe later...[definitely not later]"

"Okay!" he said, and put the pieces on the counter. "Do you want to play in the snow? I love the snow! It snows in the mountains all the time in Northern Italy! It snows in the south, too, but I don't think Romano likes it!"

Latvia perked up at the prospect. "Yeah, sure, I love the snow too! One time in Kolka it snowed so much the schools closed early and all the kids got an early Christmas! It was so much fun!"

"Okay! You know, I'm surprised there is still snow here in Canada. It's April!"

"Hey, you're right!" Latvia said. "That's weird!"

Italy grabbed hold of Latvia's hand and tugged in the direction of the living room. "Let's ask Canada; my coat is in the living room, too!"

"O-okay!" was the response as Latvia felt himself being tugged a bit beyond his strength. He was embarrassed at the idea of Italy being stronger than him.

"Hey, Canada!" Italy shouted as Canada jumped in response. "Latvia and I were wondering why it was snowing in April!"

"O-oh, really?" Canada seemed happy somebody was curious. Always pleasant, he responded, "Well, we are more north in Quebec right now, ey. That was the only way I could get France to agree to come. He's a little mad about me printing the English queen on my money..." He trailed off, then regained his sense, "Oh, but yeah, it can snow pretty late up here. It's not very bad, usually, but we had a snow storm a few days ago and it hasn't melted away yet."

A small white bear popped up from beside Canada. A cat popped up next to him. "How cute!" Italy and Latvia exclaimed together, but the bear didn't seem amused.

"Go away," Kumajiro's small voice flatly replied, "Captain Cat and I are having a good time."

"That's r-rude, Kumakinjinko..." Canada smiled.

"Hey, Canada, I thought we were talking..."

The trio turned to see Greece sitting stoicly on the couch, resting on a crucifix staff. He didn't look particularly fond to see Italy. "Do you mind, Mussolini invader?"

"That was my boss, not me, but okay Greece!" Italy sang and turned around. He grabbed his coat off the coatrack and buckled himself in. He pulled Latvia's down for him and handed it to him with an oblivious grin. "Here you go, since you're so short, you know?"

Latvia blushed a little and took the jacket, pulling his arms through as they walked down the hall towards the front door. "You know, I'm about as old as you. I'm just short because people are always pushing me down!"

Italy frowned as they walked outside, a dusty blanket crunching beneath his feet. "I know how you feel. My brother and I got beaten up on all the time when we were little!" He stopped still and smiled from ear to ear [sparkles] as he looked upon the snow. "PASTAA!" he shouted nonsensically as he made the motion of an airplane and ran down the front steps of the porch, leaving a trail of footprints behind him. Latvia watched with a smile. "He's really just like a little kid..."

Italy was stamping at the uneven bits of snow when he felt a snowball thwack him in the back of the head. He looked up to see Latvia smiling at him from nearby, a slightly devilish look upon his face. Their breaths hung in the air for a moment before Latvia pelted Italy with another one. "Come on, Italia," he said with a teasing tone, "Don't wave a white flag like usual!"

Italy smiled. "No way!" He squealed and threw up his hands, "Because snowballs can't kill you, like a being a member of the Italian Resistance can!"

He kneeled down to form some snowballs, but he was soon pelted with a tirade from Latvia, who couldn't resist but show off his skills. "Haha! You fight worse than I did against Russia and Germany in World War 2! Haha! [I made myself sad...]"

"Hey! Stop hitting me! That's not fair, you ask me to play snowball then you won't let me make any!"

Latvia stopped. "Haha, okay, let's make a snowman. Maybe that will be better."

"Okay!" Italy began to pull his half-formed ammunition into a larger pile. "Pat pat pat pat pat pat pat..."

"Okay, Italy! I'll go get some sticks for his arms!"

Latvia's boots crunched as he looked around at the trees. He found a maple with low lying branches a few hundred feet away and began to snap them off, when a dust of ice landed in his hair. Had someone just hit him with a snowball?

He turned around to see Prussia laughing while Liechtenstein held a hand over her mouth. "HAHAHA! That was AWESOME!"

Latvia squinted and yelled, "Prussia, you jerk!" As he said this, the twigs snapped under his grip.

"Haha, it was awesome, but it wasn't me, it was Liechtenstein here!" He laughed as he said this and pointed at the trembling girl, who looked surprised by this accusation and blushed.

"Shut up, Prussia! Like she would!" Latvia stomped away, annoyed by that bratty Prussia, who was still laughing. "That just shows what a jerk you are!"

Latvia was surprised that when he returned, the entire snowman had been turned into a perfect replication of Chibitalia and Chibiromano, even down to Romano's sour expression. Latvia ran up and bent down, hands against his knees, to get a better look. "WOW!" He said with a shock, "You're really good at making snowmen!"

"Ve ve ve..." Italy smiled and sat in the snow, looking at his work. "I really love to make sculptures in my country!"

Latvia smiled wide and sat down next to Italy, throwing away the useless stick 'arms' [the snowchibis defied the laws of physics, even their curls were suspended in thin air] and hoping that Italy didn't notice this poor contribution. He brought himself into an indian style and the two just watched the crystals glint in the sun for a moment. "Hey, Italy," Latvia said finally in a soft tone.

"Yeah?"

"Is that your brother?"

"Yeah. You know, even though he's mean and calls me thinks like bastard, we really love each other sometimes! When we were kids I was sad because we didn't get to see each other a lot! You have brothers, right?" He asked and turned those cute squinty eyes onto Latvia, a trail of hearts coming from behind him.

Latvia's head turned in suprise. "Well, I guess you could say that..." He closed one eye and thought for a moment. "Um, I think I have more relation to Lithuania than Estonia, but we always get lumped together and spent most of our time together, along with Ukraine and Belarus, when Russia took us into his house. So we are really close, we even stay together most the time."

"That's good! Nobody should have to live alone when they have another country be their boss. It gets lonely..." his voice trailed off he hung his head, so Latvia couldn't tell if his smile had faded or not.

"Were...were you alone Italy?"

"Well, sometimes, I think. Hungary and him were there, so I wasn't lonely. But then he left, and Hungary was too old to play with all the time, so..." Italy's head rolled back up and he was still smiling brightly. "But that's okay, because I'm my own country and I have Germany now!"

Latvia nodded his head, happy that Italy could stay so upbeat. "Yeah, that's right, Italy! Don't let the past get you down! Tomorrow is a new day!"

Italy smiled coyly and scooted closer. "Ve ve ve. Do you have a special friend, too, Latvia?"

Latvia blushed [cough cough] and for a moment all he could think of was the lines of a romance novel. "What do you mean?"

"Weeeeeeeeell..." Italy tucked his fingers around his chin and looked up thoughtfully. Suddenly, he snapped his fingers and exclaimed, "A special friend is someone who you call or who calls you whenever you need help or when you can't tie your shoelaces!"

Latvia blushed deeper, but a smile came across his face. "Does it count..." he asked, "If they need their rocket punch back?"

"Well, I don't know what that is, but I think so, don't you?"

Latvia shook his head suddenly, trying to get that damned love sonnet out of his head. "Augh, let's not talk about this! Besides, like you said, I'm so little, it's kind of weird [even though I drink]".

Italy laughed, like this was the craziest thing he had ever heard. "You're never too little for love and friendship! Like you said, you're not really very young, I mean almost a thousand years or something, right? Besides," he added and opened his eyes ever so wide, with that bright smile and his cheeks flushed from the cold. [He is rather cute, sometimes...]

"Besides what?" Latvia asked, his face looking innocent and his voice becoming soft, as if Italy were about to bestow upon him the greatest secret in the world.

Italy leaned forward, his golden eyes still open in a spectacular sight of pure happiness and naivete, his blue overcoat coming up around his chin. "The best kind of love..."

"The best kind of love..." Latvia repeated, completely enthralled.

"The best kind of love is the sweet love between two very good childhood friends. That's what I think."

"Why is that?" Latvia prodded.

"Oh..." Italy looked up into the crystal sky and saw somebody he hadn't in awhile. "Oh, because they give you memories you can always have, no matter how lonely or sad you are. You only need one friend for one day to make great memories that last a lifetime! And since kids shouldn't be alone, they should make friends with other kids! Then they can give each other memories forever and ever!"

Latvia, chuckled, feeling very warm inside. "I think you're right, Italy!"

"Of course I'm right! Other than France, I know the most about girls!"

The two laughed for awhile in the snow, until a gloom came over Latvia. "Italy?"

"Ve ve ve ve..."

"Italy!" [he was a little hurt Italy wasn't paying attention.

"Oh, Latvia! Hi~i!"

"Well, Italy, I just had a really good time, but..." He was trembling a little, obviously nervous. "I was just wondering why your country never officially recognized my country's annexation."

"Um," Italy thought. Hard. "I don't remember, I must have been drunk!"

Latvia sighed [sweatdrop] and a smile returned to his face. "Okay, Italy, I'm glad it wasn't supposed to be mean or something." He stood up and brushed the snow off his butt. "I'm getting hungry now, I'll make you some Piragi!"

"Yuck, that sounds gross. We still have some pizza!"

Latvia trembled at the thought of eating Italy's crotch pizza. "No, how about we eat different things [it felt just like home]."

The two returned inside, cheeks flushed red and numb fingers. They brushed past China in the hallway [he must have been waiting on the bathroom] and entered the kitchen. "Oh, no!" Italy shouted when they entered the room, "Somebody ate my pizza!"

"Thank god..." was all Latvia could mutter.


	4. Chapter 4:Lithuania and Japan

Japan and Lithuania both seemed slightly uncomfortable as they stood in front of each other. The other countries bustled about, meeting together and deciding what to do, but Lithuania just smiled awkwardly as Japan submissively stared at him with half-lidded eyes. They waited...and waited for the other to make a suggestion.

"Well," Japan said at length, sensing the mood, "I suppose we should do something."

"Yes," Lithuania agreed, then stood there. After a moment, a sweatdrop appeared on his brow. Shaking a little, he stated, "Well, I've always been fond of martial arts. Maybe you could teach me something about your country's fighting styles."

Japan was a little suprised, but the idea delighted him inwardly. He hadn't thought much of his samurai and ninja days since business had become his main obsession. It was a little nostalgic. "Okay," Japan, barely audible, continued as he turned and began walking towards the back door, past Canada and Greece on the couch. "But why don't we continue this conversation outside, with a niece view of nature?"

"O-okay," Lithuania agreed, confused as to why Japan had lightly touched Greece's head before he opened the door.

They stepped outside into a blanket of snow. It covered maples and oaks, evergreens and ash. It was only a few inches deep, but there was only partial sun and it wasn't very warm. The snow had probably been there for days.

The trees had small green leafs curling from their branches, hardly born. The white powder dusted the bark and Lithuania felt it looked like Christmas and April Fool's Day had almost blended together. This thought struck him as funny and he let out a small chuckle. Still, it was much warmer than in Russia's Siberian house. Lithuania's face fell.

"What are you thinking about?" Japan asked, walking forward into the back yard. He took note of Prussia and Liechtenstein walking through the brush in the distance. Prussia appeared to be yelling something, but Japan ignored it. He also took note of Switzerland and Iceland, not too far away from them. Switzerland did not look happy.

"Oh, Russia, I guess..." Lithuania murmured as they crunched through the snow. A small, stone bench rested under a naked crabapple tree, which had yet to bloom it's fuscia buds. Japan sat and Lithuania joined him.

"Ah, yes," Japan nodded, "China tried to control me once, but I kick his ass. I remember when the War came, and after, how he ended up with you. Russia was always somewhat of a bully."

"Haha, yes, but it had really started a bit before that. He came to America's house and took me, when I was working as his assistant. Even though I was still my own country in 1929, I spent most of my time at his house."

"Ah. I did not know. We hardly spoke when you where there."

Lithuania's eyes widened as he realized that Japan had been one of the countries he had established diplomatic relations with before the War [it was so long ago, sometimes...]. While they had only recently begun speaking again, he remembered about how while he was away, he had heard a story about Japan being stationed in Kaunas, a town from his country.

"Japan..."

"Yes, Lithuania-san?"

"Well, I heard a story about you in Kaunas*, but I wasn't sure if it was true..."

Japan grew silent, and a blush formed over his cheeks. "I thought you wanted to know about martial arts." he pronounced as a statement, rather than a question, and stood to his full height [it wasn't very much...].

Lithuania smiled, but didn't join his comrade. "I do, but please, is it true? Did you really do that heroic thing?"

Japan was silent, the blush spreading. "I don't like to bloster myself, not like that America."

"Haha," Lithuania's face drew into a large grin as he realised the stories were true. "Yes, America can be rather childish, but he means well. Still, I can't believe you would do such a noble thing, even though you were part of the Axis."

Japan's eyes grew dim, as if he was remembering a far away dream. "Nobility...is part of how I am supposed to be. I wasn't always in that War. I even attacked America, even though we later grew to be very good friends [though he is a dickhead]. But when I saw what was happening in Kaunas...I just couldn't do any more. I had to do something, anything, to make myself feel right."

"You saved 6,000 people. You are a hero."

"I killed many more. I am no hero."

The two were silent for a moment, feeling a dread in the air. Memories haunted Japan, of violent times and anger that had fueled him through the industrial age. He remembered the bombs of Pearl Harbor, the internal civil wars and the acts of 'honor' which had led his own government to oppose the people in the fuedal days. He remembered these things, and felt despondent.

Lithuania noticed the sorrow in the deep recesses of Japan's monochromatic eyes. He finally stood, and placed a hand on Japan's shoulder. "It isn't our fault, you know. We don't make the final decisions for our bosses, or our people. We are merely reflections of what once was and will be."

Japan relaxed, realizing this was true. He hadn't been solely responsible for all of his problems. He had been given plenty of help by his government, just like all of the countries. If Lithuania could be so cheerful, after all he'd been through...Japan's face finally gave way to a small smile.

Lithuania smiled back and the two began walking through the snow again. He chuckled to himself as he saw Latvia pulling at tree branches in the front of the house. "Well, Japan, teach me about martial arts."

"Okay," Japan nodded, "But only a little. It's too cold to fight with you. But if I do, you have to teach me something fun about yourself," he added as he closed his eyes, "I truly enjoy learning about other cultures."

"Okay."

"Well, first," he said and raised an index finger emphatically, "There are two classes to divide martial arts into. That is based off of whether or not they existed before or after the Meij Restoration of 1860s [some people say the Haitorei edict in 1876, but that's another story]. Koryu is the old school style, very good for kicking China's ass, and Gendai Budo is the new trend. The major difference is the old school style was meant primarily for applying the skills acquired, while gendai budo is more philosophical, and the use is a secondary matter."

"Ah!" Lithuania exlaimed and closed his eyes in excitement, "It's like Bruce Lee!"

"Well, Bruce Lee is not a Japanese man, but we would have allowed him citizenship. He is a badass."

The two were silent a moment longer, reveling in the superiority of Bruce Lee, Jackie Chan and Chuck Norris. At length, Japan said, "So, tell me something cool about Lithuania."

"Oh," Lithuania trembled [something cool?], "Well...Oh!" His face lit up, "We were the last of Europe to become Christian."

"Ah? I'm not Christian, either."

"Yes, we practiced a religion called Romuva. It consisted mainly of nature worship and the belief that the souls of our ancestors stayed with the family after they died."

Japan found this quite appealing. "Yes, the I inherited a trait like that from China [despite myself...], though I haven't been participating in Bon quite as much these days."

The two once again found themselves without much to say, two very similar countries and both very shy, and taken to introversion.

"So, what was it like when you lived in America's house?" Japan asked with a sideways flick of the iris.

"Oh, quite nice! I enjoyed Whale and Tony. I heard he got Mr. Whale from you, Japan-san."

"Yes, he opened my country [despite myself...], and nowadays I'm rather glad he has done it."

Lithuania's forest drop eyes stared into the distance. Towards the front of the house Latvia and Italy ran back inside, looking happy as could be. Switzerland and Iceland had disappeared, while Prussia and Liechtenstein still stood at the edge of the yard where the trees began to thicken. He had been suprised everyone seemed to be getting along pretty well. Of course, to ruin this, Belarus came running out of the back door like a bat out of hell. China came after.

"Bel-aru-s!" China yelled, a really serious look on his face, "Keep running!"

She did, and...was that a smile on her face as she disappeared into the distance? Lithuania couldn't be sure, but she sure looked cute~!

"Ha, it appears other than Belarus and China, this seems to be working out okay. I'm glad we got to have fun today, Japan. Even if America's plan was ill-conceived, I think he meant well by this plan. He really is a good kid."

Japan smiled. "Yes, I know [despite myself...]. Shall we go back inside? I am getting a little chilly. I will make us some nikujaga."

"Oh, Japan, you don't have to cook. I used to make America dinner all the time, and Russia as well."

"No, it's okay. I like to cook."

Lithuania laughed. "Did you inherit that from China, too?"

Japan gave him a glare, but quickly erased it. His senses told him Lithuania meant nothing of it. They passed by Canada and Greece [whom Japan again inconspicuously brushed on as he walked by], who had not left the couch once, and made their way into the kitchen. Latvia and Italy sat there, and Italy had apparently made pasta. "Hey, guys!" he said with a smile, "Do you big guys want some capellini?"

Japan and Lithuania looked at each other, and smiled. "Sure."

"Of course!"

They four sat at the counter bar, as Italy [who apparently had found a chef's hat and an apron], pulled a pile of pasta onto each of their plates. "Tada!" he stated as he placed them in front of each member.

"Lithuania, how are you and Japan getting on?" Latvia asked between mouthfuls of noodles.

"Rather well, in fact-" but before he could finish, the front door busted open. A large man with green eyes and brown hair and a young girl with...wait! It was Hungary and Poland, dressed in drag! The four diners stopped eating and looked shockingly as the two idled up beside them.

Poland stood in front of Lithuania with a smile. "Like, do you like my look?"

Lithuania's face became blue, then red, then blue again, as he was very uncomfortable. "NO!" was all he shouted, as he pushed Poland's head down with the top of his hands.

Japan could sense that this wasn't necessarily true...

*Chiune Sugihara was a Japanese consulate to Lithuania in 1939. When the consulate was closed, he was faced by thousands of Jews who wished to flee Lithuania in fear of the concentration camps. Despite the strict nature of most Japanese consulates, Chiune and his wife, Yukiko, handwrit thousands of passports, doing as many as one month's work in one night, which often broke immigration laws to allow 6,000 Jews to flee to Kobe, Japan, then Shanghai to outlast the war. When he was relieved of his consulate job due to occupation, he gave his stamp to a refugee so that he may continue to forge visa papers. He never spoke of his actions, being a humble man, and it wasn't until a man who's life he saved found him in the 60s, being followed by hundreds of others, that he was recognized by Isreal as the savior of perhaps up to 40,000 men, women and children. He was given Isreal's highest honor in 1985, as "Righteous Amongst the Nations". Since he had never bragged about why he gave so many visas, he had been demoted after the war unceremoniously. Still, when asked about why he did this thing, he merely said, "I think that my decision was humanely correct."

Truly, Chiune Sugihara and his wife, Yukiko, were heroes to be honored.


	5. Chapter 5: Sealand and Norway

"My country was founded by a man named Roy!"

Norway looked down at his small counterpart. Why was he even allowed to participate in this game? He looked physically no older than maybe 14, and that was strecthing the boundaries a bit. Was this guy even a country? Norway only grunted in remark.

Sealand felt a little nervous at the lack of remark, but he had dealt with these types of issues before, so he merely prattled on as he tugged Norway's sleeve and pulled him upstairs into the hallway. "I guess you could call England my dad, but I've been spending a lot of time with Sweden and Finland lately! I've even tried to tell your friend, Iceland, that I'm his senpai, but he doesn't get it. Anyways," Sealand added, with a dismissive handwave and a far too superior attitude problem, "Canada keeps all of his and America's old toys handy, or at least the ones America forgot about, in case I ever come over to play! So what do you say? Let's play something fun, like German tourists versus the Sealandian prince!"

Norway cocked his head to the side. Was this kid serious? He got down on his knees to meet Sealand at eye-level and placed a hand on his head. "No."

Sealand [sweatdrop] did not seem to take the hint. "No, no, silly, that's not what Germans say!"

Norway let his head drop, but no other percievable signs of emotion escaped him. He could hear a bumbling about downstairs as the other countries decided what to do. He supposed at least, up here, it was relatively quiet and there wasn't much harm indulging a child, now was there? So, with a bit of effort and a small sigh, he stood up and followed a noticeably more entertained Sealand running down the hall.

It was a funny sight, really. Sealand had once again grabbed Norway's sleeve, and was running while Norway attempted to keep a slow pace. This resulted in Norway having to lean forward every few seconds to catch up. He merely looked annoyed as Sealand burst into the last room. He looked about to see what a nursery surrounding him. It must have been left over from when Canada was a kid.

As Sealand bounced to what looked like a pirates chest, Norway's gaze fell upon a small picture on the back of the door. He was surprised to see what almost looked like a family portrait. Two identical children posed in front of France and England. Norway almost smiled at the picture. It was easy to recognize that Canada was the quiet child in France's lap, and that America was the brat biting England's fingers. Other than the obviously strained smile on England's face, they really looked wholesome. Of course, Norway knew better.

Most of the images on the wall where either of Canada and England [in uniforms from various wars they fought together], Canada and France [mostly of when Canada was a baby], or Canada and America [Canada looked like the staright man in most of these, except the ones from the Olympics, where he was apparently acting out more than even his troublesome brother]. There was only the one family picture."Hey, kid," he said gloomily, "How come there aren't any pictures of you?"

Sealand had strewn the floor with toys by the time Norway asked him this. He turned to see what Norway was talking about and when he did his face fell. "Well, Canada is nice and all, but I guess he doesn't consider me a little brother. My whole nation was created by the idea that no one else had any responsibilities over my land, so I guess..." he trailed off, unsure of how to go on.

Norway suddenly felt bad for the kid. He was obviously an outcast of sorts. "Well, Canada invited you here, so maybe he does."

Sealand laughed, a surprisingly chipper [grating] laugh. "Ha, it was America who invited me! We talk sometimes, mostly about what a big jerk England is."

Norway was more than a little surprised that America had been the one to invite Sealand. He wasn't exactly well reknown for his compassion or likeability in the foreign field, though Norway had always enjoyed his company [ the two even had drinks in North Dakota, one time]. "Really..." he trailed. He wasn't sure how interested he really was in an explanation, but Sealand seemed to deem him fit for it.

"Yes, well, America is a bit rash and all, but he seems to like me all right. Of course, I really only come see him when that British jerk will take me over the pond. It's quite a hassle, really, to move the whole kingdom."

"You mean the abandoned anti-aircraft fort..."

"Yes. My kingdom. Duh."

Norway hadn't meant for it to happen. He wasn't sure if it was because of the solid smile Sealand had given him, or the fact that the twit actually thought that his stupid fortress was a country, but...he smiled. Not a smirk or a snark, like when he talked to Denmark [idiot never realised he was being sarcastic], but a genuine smile.

It was a rather unpleasant feeling for someone so unused to smiling. He touched his cheeks with both hands, just to make sure that was what he was doing. Sealand looked at him with a little concern. "What...are you smiling?"

Norway turned away, a full-on blush suddenly spreading across his face. It wasn't because he was shy or anything, but because it was rather embarrassing someone had seen this face. Out of all the faces to see...

Sealand huffed and turned around, picking up a power ranger off the floor. "Stop acting like it's so special. Prussia put a picture of you smiling on his blog nearly a year ago."

"...what?"

Sealand laughed his chipper [grating] laugh. "Haha, you must not have the internet! He's rather bored, so he updates it a lot. He even has a picture of Belarus smiling, somehow. So don't think there is anything new about your smile, I have seen it."

Norway was enraged that Prussia had violated him like that. It would ruin his image! However, no matter how angry Norway was inside, his demeanor remained calm as he made a mental note. As he sat down he decided to tell Russia that Prussia had insulted Siberia. That would manage the dirty work.

Sealand put a blue power ranger in Norway's hand. Norway sighed. "Don't be like that," Sealand winked, "I even picked your color to fit your personality! Now let's pretend that Prince Roy's son, Micheal, has been taken from his bedroom by a bunch of Germans!"

Norway sat, uncomfortably, through about ten minutes of prattle, with vague responses to Sealand's nonsense. Something about this kid was bugging him. Maybe it was his sugary demeanor, or maybe his grating laugh, or maybe...maybe it was because it reminded him of long ago, when he used to indulge Ice-kun in this manner. He remembered how great it was when Iceland called him older brother.

"So, German pig!" Sealand squealed with full force as he launched at Norway with the toy, invading his personal space, "What are your demands!"

Norway sighed again. He hadn't been paying any attention. So he decided to mess with Sealand. Messing with people was always so much fun. "I need...food." he murmured with a straight [creepy] face.

Sealand smiled and placed a fake piece of cheese next to Norway. "You're demands have been met, you filthy-"

"Real food. Not fake food."

Sealand looked a little suprised, but the grin soon returned and he left the room. Norway even smiled, just a little, when he saw the kid play along. He was hungry. Norway missed the best part of being an older brother; getting kids to do stuff for you.

Sealand bunkered down the stairs to find China and Belarus arguing in the kitchen. He tried not to eavesdrop [liar] as he made his way into the kitchen to find some food. Luckily for him, somebody had placed a couple pieces of pizza on the counter.

"Why does he love you?"

"I don't know, and I don't care. Stop asking such stupid questions-aru!"

Sealand left them to their squabble as he sauntered back up the stairs. He barrelled in the room and presented Norway with a piece of pizza, putting the corner of the other in his mouth. "There you go, you Norweigan jerk!"

Norway only grunted and the two ate pizza in silence. "That was good," he finally muttered. Norway then picked up the blue power ranger and shook it with his index finger, resting the feet on the ground before him. "Drink. I need drink, now, or Micheal gets it!"

Sealand looked annoyed. "You should have-"

"Now! Or I rape his mother while he watches." Norway was kind of creepy...

Sealand's face grew pale. Had this guy really said that? Well, no matter, it really was important to make sure this didn't happen to the princess. "Ok!" he shouted and ran back into the kitchen.

"Maybe if you weren't so crazy-aru!"

"You're one to talk, China! You've got a dictator, too!"

"Really, please. It is a democratic dictatorship."

"Aaaaaaaaaaah! That makes no sense! You liar!"

Sealand was a little confused by this talk. If it wasn't 'hereditary constitutional monarchy', he really didn't understand. As he handed Norway his glass of soda, a question had formed in his mind. "Norway," he asked, his voice matured.

Norway looked at him as he lowered the glass, his change of demeanor noted. "What?"

"What type of government do you have?"

"...Well, I'm pretty old, so I've gone through a lot of changes. But the most recent ones have been transforming from an absolute monarchy to more of a parliamentary system. I got kind of inspired by the American Revolution. We've just recently been hammering out the issues with that whole parlaiment stuff. We still have a monarchy, though."

"Oh...What's a democratic dictatorship?"

"A logical fallacy."

"What's a phallus?"

"That isn't the same thing at all."

"Oh."

Norway could tell somebody had been talking politics downstairs. Why else would he have even brought this up? He leaned into Sealand, until their faces where only inches apart, and looked him up and down with a frown. "There's others like you, right?"

Sealand was uncomfortable, and pulled back, but he grinned all the while. "You mean like Wy and Seborga? Yes, but Wy has been recognized by Australia."

"That guy was always weird. Maybe he was drunk."

"Yes, well, even though I know them, I really spend the most time with Latvia. He's pretty close, and I call him when I have problems, you know. That Wy is always acting too high and mighty, even though I'm her elder!"

"Just like you did to Ice-kun..."

Sealand seemed annoyed by that concept. "I never acted like his older brother or anything, I was just letting him know I knew the whole internet situation better! It's not my fault he's inexperienced to the world of national debt!"

Norway leaned in even furthur [freaking out kids was fun, after all]. "Ice-kun is my little brother. I have the DNA results to prove it."

Sealand got a little annoyed at having his personal space invaded. "I already told you I wasn't acting like his big brother or anything!"

Norway stood up quickly, carrying Sealand by the ankle. His head had wapped the floor before it was brought about two feet off of it. "Waaah!" he shouted as he waved his arms, "Why are you doing this?"

Norway began to bob Sealand up and down by his ankles and remembered how he had done this once to Ice-kun [no one ever said he was always nice to his little brother]. "Call me big brother," he said with a mocking tone, "Since you and Ice-kun are brothers, I guess that makes me your big brother."

Sealand closed one eye, little tears forming on the corners of both. "I already told you, you crazy Norweigan, that I didn't call him my little brother!"

"Older brother. Older brother. Older brother." Norway sounded spooky.

"Let. Me. GO!" With that Sealand managed an amazing roundhouse kick, catching Norway at the side of the head, before landing perfectly on all fours like a cat.

"What the HELL kid?" Norway asked, his normally calm attitude broken by surprise. "Jesus, you're STRONG!" Norway couldn't help but quake just a little, as he waited to see what else the boy might do. If Norway had that kind of strength, he'd probably use it to bother everyone in sight.

"Yes, well, serves you right!" Sealand stood and straightened the front of his sailor suit. "I'm made of concrete and steel, you know."

Norway laughed. He couldn't help it, or even understand it, but he laughed in a way he hadn't in a very long time. "You're a lot like America, you know that?" Sealand grew red and Norway added, "Not as an insult, but in a good way. My government and his have usually had good relations. His president even came to visit my king a decade or so ago."

But Sealand wasn't red because he had been mad. Sealand actually looked up to America, lacking any other role models besides Wy [who was a bit stuck-up] and Serboga [who was stupider than Italy, half the time].Norway was talking about America, who had fought with England for his right to exist just as Sealand had. America, who could get along with that British jerk while tearing him up in the same sentence, just like Sealand would. A young country with a big heart and a lot of strength...only...

"Only I can't get any bigger, like America could."

Norway's laugh had quickly been replaced by his stoic, if slightly less cold, expression. He waved his hand in the air as if what Sealand said made no difference. "Everyone is constrained by some sort of physical barrier, even America. I mean, how long did it take until Hawaii was a state? 1959? Besides, you don't want to gain a country through genocide anyways, do you?"

Sealand squinted his eyes. Oh, yeah. America was a crazy psycho sometimes. So was every other nation. For a small moment, Sealand relished in his quiet, seaside home. "Yes, well, I guess that's true."

"Good boy," Norway said and patted Sealand's head again. "Well, if you ever find you are lacking for an older brother," he added with a raised index finger and a superior smirk, "You can call me big brother. But only if no one is around."

Sealand laughed. "That's okay. I seem to do fine on my own."


	6. Chapter 6: Romano and Russia

"I was rather excited to have you be my pair. Not so much if had been Lithuania or Latvia, but you'll do."

"Why, so you can toture them, you sick bastard?"

"Exactly." Russia smiled as he said this, closing his eyes and even furrowing his brow into a slightly sad expression. Romano just watched him, wondering what the hell was up with him and what exactly that [communist] bastard was planning.

Romano did not feel at ease walking down the sidewalk with this bear. He knew the two's countries had formed a real solid economic alliance since the 60s, but his little brother was usually the one to talk to Russia. This guy was scary, and Germany made a better protectorate than Spain [no money]. So usually Romano let them drink and eat or whatever while Romano took a nap. "You're crazy, Russia, that's why everyone is scared of you."

"Scared? Of me? Why?" Russia laughed at this idea like it was the most absurd comment ever spoke by any mouth ever in the history of all the world, right after admitting he wished he could torture Lithuania or Latvia. This guy was weird.

Romano only closed his eyes and kept spouting off the hip. For some reason, no matter how scary an enemy, he seemed to always speak back [unless it was France, his childhood demon]. Romano lacked the same sense of his brother, without the kindness to even it out. "Russia, you're scary because of the whole communist-kill-kill-kill-shoot-them-in-Siberian-winters kind of way." he stated with an animated hand waving.

Russia chuckled and turned his head more towards Romano as they spoke. "Oh? Have I killed you, yet? We are no longer communist. Besides, Italy has the most communists of any western country."

"Those statistics are unconfirmed!"

"Da, maybe there are more hiding?"

Romano just put his hands deeper in his jacket. Spain hadn't come with them. He couldn't believe Spain had the balls to tell him he had to work something out with his 'son'. Damn bastard. Didn't he know none of them were really 'sons' or 'brothers' or 'married', only 'descended from' or 'racially connected' or 'unionized'? Besides, if that was how it went, wasn't he Spain's son or something, too?

"What's wrong?" Russia asked, looking genuinely concerned, "I was just joking about torturing you, so chin up, da."

Romano turned his head away, attempting to forget his thoughts. Russia sighed and looked forward. Romano realized he didn't know where he was being led. "Hey, ballerina dancer, where are we going, exactly?"

Russia looked confused [ballerina dancer?] but smiled. Romano almost admitted to himself that the big bear looked sweet when he smiled, with that fruity pink scarf. "I thought maybe we could watch a movie. After all, our countries work together on the theater, right?"

"Those are playhouses, stupid..." he trailed off, not completely adverse to lighting up the silver screen. At least the stupid Russian would shut up. He smirked. "Hey, Russia..."

"Yes?"

"Did you know that Russia sent a dummy up to space before they sent up a real boy? His name was Ivan. Ivan Ivanski, I think. Ivan, the first Russian dummy up in space!" He let out a berating laugh like this was comedic gold. Russia only smiled deeper as he leaned in and put [solid] hand on Romano's shoulder and squeezed [hard].

"You would do best to be quiet now. That is why I wanted to see movie, so I don't have to listen to drabble out of silly, stupid mouth."

Romano squeaked as Russia let his arm go, then turned around. "Jeez, I thought we had friendly relations."

"We do. That is why I said I can't torture you." Oh. That was why Russia wouldn't break him, because their government shared economic ties. "Really, little Romano, you are so cute and little. You're not strong enough to fight me, not like China or America."

"Speak of the [capitalist] devil..." Romano and Russia stopped in front of a moviehouse, only to find Austria and America looking at the movie posters on the side of the red brick building. Or, at least, America was looking at them, bobbing his head up and down while laughing like a retarded person, as Austria rolled a lintcatcher down his suit jacket.

Russia smiled and walked up, Romano trailing behind. Austria frowned as he saw them approach, but it took until they were speaking for America to even notice anyone was there. "Oh, great, Russia is here. Like my day wasn't bad enough. What are you doing here?"

Russia pointed to Romano, who stood behind him with his tongue out. "We are going to the movies so he will shut up. Is that why you bring America here?"

Austria crossed his arms and smirks, "Ja, well, he is so loud I thought this might shut him up. But he keeps wanting to see a ghost story, and I don't like those silly horrors."

"Oh?" Russia seemed intrigued by the thought of horror.

Around this time America woke up and stood up next to Austria. "Oy, Russia," he said with a much calmer demeanor, "You should watch the newest scary movie out of Hollywood. American horror is the best, because you usually get to see some girl's tits!"

Romano watched with delight as America and Austria stood next to each other. Neither spent much time together, so maybe this was why Romano hadn't noticed, "Hey, America! Austria!"

The two perked at their names and Russia turned to see what Romano had to say. "You two look like twins, if Austria had blonde hair and lost the mole!"

Russia laughed, pleased with this outburst despite his dipleasure at the last. "Well, not all the way, but, da. You both have the curl, and a little shaggy hair, and glasses. You do look a little alike. Maybe Austria is you're real big brother, da?"

It had been a bit of a debate between the older countries just who, exactly, America resembled the most. After all, he had a rather mixed lineage in his homeland. This was a bit of a sore issue for him, so he pouted. Austria looked deflated at having his beauty compared to that of a backwoods ruffian. The two stared at each other in confusion as Russia and Romano stepped into the movies.

Romano was suprised Russia let him pick the movie. Usually his brother would beg and beg until they went and saw some crappy chick flick about romance. He decided to check out the horror movie America had suggested, but couldn't concentrate during half of it because some guy kept screaming in the back row. Romano wasn't sure why he shut up, but about halfway through he actually got to watch the movie.

He was only disappointed. The plot was shallow, and the shock was lost because everytime something popped up it was anteceded by obviously scary music. Romano just rolled his eyes. When the two left, Romano couldn't stop complaining about how bad the movie was. "I mean seriously, what was that idiot screaming about? I've had scarier nights sleeping next to Veneciano, and that was because of the time he kept dreaming about touching Sicily!"

Russia chuckled. The boy was funny; Russia was scary and the movie was scary [to idiots], but Romano didn't really seem bothered by anything, scary or not. "Romano-kun?" he asked, ignoring the look of disgust in Romano's response to the pet name, "How come you're not scared?"

Romano was annoyed. He wouldn't tell Russia he *was* scared, of a lot of things, but usually just didn't act like it. Plus, he really didn't want to admit he wasn't always sure of what was scary and what wasn't. So instead he spoke specifics, like about the movie they just saw. "Well, I mean, it was too obvious! In order for something to be scary, you have to make it interesting and new. People expect something to pop out and grab you when there's, like, forty seconds of shitty music before it."

"You sound like Japan."

"Oh, that rice eating bastard? He's friends with my brother, not me." Romano looked a little embarassed.

Russia suddenly found a funny little thought entering his head. "Romano," he partitioned with a sickly sweet grin, "Do you have friends?"

Romano stopped dead in his tracks, a red hue overtaking his cheeks. He furrowed his brow. "Spain, I guess. He even said he wants to marry me, you know."

Russia smiled. "You know, I think I only see you with him, or your brother."

Romano wasn't sure what Russia was implying, so he just huffed and remained silent for about half the walk back to Canada's house. He was a little annoyed at a thought which was tugging at his brain, so without regard to the unwarrantedness of this, about ten minutes after Russia made his statement Romano broke out in a rant. "You know, stupid Veneciano doesn't even hang out very much, even now that we live together and stuff. It's always 'Germany, this' or 'Come tie my shoelaces, Mr. Big Bad Germany'. He's a kraut eating potato head. But even if my only friend is Spain, and even if he doesn't even have time for me, at least I'm friendless because I don't like people rather than other people not liking me."

Russia just laughed. "Oh? So you're brother likes you, I guess. That's good. My sister Belarus and I get along very well, but she is somewhat crazy."

Romano shot, "What about your sister, Ukraine, or those trembling Baltic States?"

Russia closed his eyes and a small sweatdrop formed on his head. "They...are very weird. My sister and I are fighting over a gas line, and I'm a little nervous about her joining the E.U."

"That's not what I meant. Do they like you?"

Russia looked up at the sky with an innocent, pondering gaze. He continued walking, giving himself time to formulate a decision. Then he looked back down and twisted his eyes back into a cute, closed expression of joy. "I guess I never think of these things in my country. All that matters if I like them, da? I mean, Spain took you, and it didn't matter if you wanted him too."

Romano realized this was true, and he shoved his balled fists further into his olive coat. His chin sunk into the collar as he muttered sweet nothings into the air. He immediately forgave Spain for ditching him earlier, when considering the prospect of having been taken over by Russia. Then he shuddered. If Spain had something important to clear up with Cuba...was it because he did something to Cuba like what Russia had done to the Baltic Trio or his sisters?

Then Romano found himself wondering something very, very strange. Maybe [now hear me out on this] just maybe, Russia had some nice guy in there, behind all the purple demon smoke. Maybe. Romano didn't care to try and find out. He was more worried that under the purple demon smoke there was a demon of unparalleled nightmare fuel.

But then, maybe in Russia, and in all countries, this was true. Even normal people seemed somewhat grey in the moral area; even Stalin loved his kids, right?

They made it back to Canada's without much else to say, Romano sick of having to think so much about feelings and existentialism and power versus morality and all that crap. Being Renassiance-enlightened was more his brother's thing. Somehow Veneciano just managed to accept others with stride. No wonder he handled most of the foreign relations. If only he hung out more, that selfish bastard.

As Romano thought this, bitterly, the two came upon Canada's yard and Romano's eyes widened to see a small snow statue glittering in the sunlight before the ornate home. It was of him and Italy, back when they were just little things. They held hands and their ahoges came together, suspended in midair by that strange artistic magic straight from Tuscany, forming a heart. Russia stopped behind Romano and took note of the surprised look on the nation's facade. He smiled and a puff of air extended from his nostril. "It would seem your brother does like you, very much. I had thought maybe you were lying about that."

Romano looked over his shoulder, a confident grin flashing. "I told you already, didn't I? Still," he kicked the snow, unsure of why he was telling this to Russia, "It makes me feel less lonely to know that stupid brother of mine thinks of me even when he is hanging out with other people. Even if he never says anything nice about me."

Russia smiled in pleasure. "Yes, to be lonely is very painful. That's why I had to take Lithuania and the others. I know they will think of me every day for the rest of their lives, mostly because I gave them physical scars, as well as emotional ones."

Romano trembled as Russia put an arm around him. "Too bad for me, I only have you for today, so we should work quickly, da?" he asked with an innocent perk and patted his back. Romano wondered if this was Russia's sick idea of humor and asked himself silently when Spain would return. That bastard.


End file.
